| Shit happens |
Taoism: Shit happens!
Confucianism: Confucius says "Shit happens".
Buddhism: Shit happening is an illusion.
Islam: Shit happening is the will of Allah.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it..
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Christian Science: If shit happens, pray and it will go away.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Atheism: Shit happens for no reason.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, happens, happens!
Stoicism: Shit happens; I can take it.
Jehova's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit and see what happens.